忙？

最近有点忙
忙的我自己都不知道自己在忙什么
应该盲目的忙呢
还是有目的的忙
然而我们有控制的到吗？
好累
明明脑袋里想着这些忙无意义
忙来干嘛
看书还是学东西更有意义
但是身体就是不听话
发觉时已经是在干着无意义的事情
过着无意义的生活
虽然人家都觉得我的节目排的满满的
没错
节目很多
但是没几个有意义的
有时还真觉得自己越来越像废人了....

还是来了~

害怕的一天还是来了
虽然知道这个老板的无奈
但是并不知道他那么的无力
不过如果站在他的立场想的话
我的决定可能也是一样
而且可能比他更早就这样了
信任的都是不可信任的
认识的都是一些贪便宜的
每个人当他是小丑
他把每个人都当朋友
结果呢？
当年问他 确定？ 可靠？
没问题~~~我的兄弟来的~
我开口他们肯定帮忙的！
哈哈 据我所知
人家都懒得理他
理他的都是打算榨干他的

帮他的？ 有！！！
之后收费双倍罢了

哈哈 可悲
可怜~

我自己也好不到那里去
他说安排我进入那位“可靠”的朋友的厂 不用担心~~~~
老板！ 如果我想进那间厂
我找你干嘛
算了
暂时忍一忍
明年看如何
不行的话才另寻出路
目前进行着另一个计划
如果行得通
说不定不用打工了！

靠人果然都是不行...
目前目标
努力瘦下！
然后开始我的新生活！
30了 慢了点~
但是不开始新生活不行
靠这门东西？ 难~
是该走别的路了。

Hello? who are u? the one in the mirror.

1 more year....
i will be turning 30...

but...

recently i completely lost.
no direction at all.
every morning looking into the mirror.
the one inside the mirror look like a stranger to me.
he look like me but he look like he lost.
is that me?

he look like he got question for me.

should i keep doing boring job?
should i find the other half?
should i stay single?
should i start business?

NO~NO~NO~NO~

the one inside the mirror talking to himself.

and then what can i do? what can i do? what can i do?
the one inside me collapse and cry...
he didn't shed any tears but i do.

i had learn a lot of things and know a lots of thing.
but why there is a feel of emptiness inside me.
is it because i not doing what i like to do.
or it was just pure laziness inside me...
sometime i wish i had a someone to understand me.
but every time when i feel like i found one,
they turn away.
in the end,
i only had myself and the one in the mirror.

i had go on stage this year and try a lot of things i dont dare this year.
even tough it was just a small company gathering...
it was a big step for me.
the one in the mirror cheering for me cause he got no guts to go up stage like i do.
but he also tell me one thing.
he said: u had change.

i really hoping i can clear my mind and know myself.
i am stranger to myself now...
i completely dont understand myself...
oh my~
30 years of life...
and stuck in this situation.
i tough i was clear all along.
i keep playing game to fill in my emptiness.
it works nicely last few year.
but not now, now i complete no mood of playing games...
growing old? matured? i dunno
maybe just fed up.
i replied to the one inside the mirror.

tired...
the one i like...
the one i care...
the one i think he can guide me...
anyone...

who can help me...
i know that only myself can help me.
but...
i really hope someone show up and give me a direction...
this is the first time in my whole life feel like depending on anyone.

i think is time for me to really cool down and have a nice long thinking.
continue like this i scare i might give up myself...
i continued talking to the one inside the mirror.

but the only response he giving me.
is the same innocent look that telling me.
U had to find the answer urself...

me and the one in the mirror end up brushing our teeth and wash our face.
see u tomorrow
the stranger in the mirror.