i will be turning 30...
but...
recently i completely lost.
no direction at all.
every morning looking into the mirror.
the one inside the mirror look like a stranger to me.
he look like me but he look like he lost.
is that me?
he look like he got question for me.
should i keep doing boring job?
should i find the other half?
should i stay single?
should i start business?
NO~NO~NO~NO~
the one inside the mirror talking to himself.
and then what can i do? what can i do? what can i do?
the one inside me collapse and cry...
he didn't shed any tears but i do.
i had learn a lot of things and know a lots of thing.
but why there is a feel of emptiness inside me.
is it because i not doing what i like to do.
or it was just pure laziness inside me...
sometime i wish i had a someone to understand me.
but every time when i feel like i found one,
they turn away.
in the end,
i only had myself and the one in the mirror.
i had go on stage this year and try a lot of things i dont dare this year.
even tough it was just a small company gathering...
it was a big step for me.
the one in the mirror cheering for me cause he got no guts to go up stage like i do.
but he also tell me one thing.
he said: u had change.
i really hoping i can clear my mind and know myself.
i am stranger to myself now...
i completely dont understand myself...
oh my~
30 years of life...
and stuck in this situation.
i tough i was clear all along.
i keep playing game to fill in my emptiness.
it works nicely last few year.
but not now, now i complete no mood of playing games...
growing old? matured? i dunno
maybe just fed up.
i replied to the one inside the mirror.
tired...
the one i like...
the one i care...
the one i think he can guide me...
anyone...
who can help me...
i know that only myself can help me.
but...
i really hope someone show up and give me a direction...
this is the first time in my whole life feel like depending on anyone.
i think is time for me to really cool down and have a nice long thinking.
continue like this i scare i might give up myself...
i continued talking to the one inside the mirror.
but the only response he giving me.
is the same innocent look that telling me.
U had to find the answer urself...
me and the one in the mirror end up brushing our teeth and wash our face.
see u tomorrow
the stranger in the mirror.
